Posts by Francine & Byron Pirola
Can we change the subject, please?
One of the hardest conversations to have as a couple, is one about our sex life. Yet lovemaking is central to the Sacrament of Matrimony and is crucial to the flourishing of our relationship. There are couples in every one of our communities who have never once had an honest conversation about their sex life. Not because they don’t love each other.…
Read MoreOn Trend with Unbusy
Busyness has become a bit of a status symbol in our culture. Yet extreme busyness is not only detrimental to our inner life, it is also toxic to relationships. Some years ago, we enjoyed a week in New Zealand – about five days with some of our children and then two blessed days on our…
Read MoreFor richer or poorer – Balancing the Wedding Budget
More couples are starting out in marriage with financial debt – student loans, mortgages and credit debt. The last thing they need is wedding debt. Talking with engaged and recently married couples, one problem comes up again and again: the wedding budget. It’s also one of the most searched topics related to marriage right now. The Knot, a popular wedding…
Read MoreSpiritual Mothers
It’s no mistake that the modern celebration of Mothers’ Day occurs in May – the month of Mary. Our heavenly mother is the model of motherhood from whom all – men and women alike – take inspiration. We’ve often joked that it takes mere seconds to conceive a child but years of sleeplessness and self-denial…
Read MoreThree Practices for a Lasting Marriage
The science confirms what the Church has taught all along We live in an age of marital pessimism. Divorce has touched almost every family, and many couples walk down the aisle quietly wondering whether they’ll beat the odds. The statistics are sobering – somewhere between 30 and 50 percent of marriages in Western countries will end in divorce.…
Read MoreIs ‘Grace Alone’ Enough for Marriage?
What YOUCAT Love Forever Says About the Real Work of Marriage Recently a young man in the SmartLoving Engaged course asked for a refund. The reason? He felt the practical relationship skills were unnecessary, and that a good marriage required one thing only: to live a life in the grace of God. It’s a perspective that sounds beautiful on the surface. And he wasn’t entirely wrong – grace is foundational to…
Read MoreBringing Mercy to your Marriage
It’s Divine Mercy Sunday this week, one of our favourite feasts. Inspired by the writings of St Faustina, a Polish visionary of the 20th century, this feast honours God’s infinite capacity for forgiveness. We’ve had more than a few spats in our marriage. There. We’ve said it. People often expect us to be somehow impervious…
Read MoreWhen Marriages Rise from the Dead
The power of forgiveness can bring even the most broken marriage back to life Good Friday confronts us with something as remarkable: an innocent man, nailed to a cross, gasping out words that should have been rage or despair – but weren’t. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Lk 23:34) We’ve sat with those words…
Read MoreSeven Habits of Effective Communicators
Almost everyone agrees that communication – good communication – is essential to successful relationships. But what constitutes ‘good’ communication? The answer to that all depends on our goals, which will be different for various relationships and dependent on the circumstances. If our goal is to give clear instructions to an employee, it will call for…
Read MoreOpenness to Life is for All of Us
It’s not uncommon to have couples of advanced years in the SmartLoving Engaged course. One or both may be widowed or they may have only found love and a vocation to marriage after many decades of single life. Sometimes they express confusion or frustration that their marriage preparation course includes fertility awareness education. For example, recently a widower in…
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