Married Couples
The Passion Principle
One of the great delights of running marriage enrichment retreats for couples, is hearing all the amazing love stories. From beginning to end, every one of them has mystery, radical self-sacrifice and epic persistence in some capacity. We often joke that our own love story is more akin to a soap opera than real life…
Read MoreCan we change the subject, please?
One of the hardest conversations to have as a couple, is one about our sex life. Yet lovemaking is central to the Sacrament of Matrimony and is crucial to the flourishing of our relationship. There are couples in every one of our communities who have never once had an honest conversation about their sex life. Not because they don’t love each other.…
Read MoreOn Trend with Unbusy
Busyness has become a bit of a status symbol in our culture. Yet extreme busyness is not only detrimental to our inner life, it is also toxic to relationships. Some years ago, we enjoyed a week in New Zealand – about five days with some of our children and then two blessed days on our…
Read MoreThree Practices for a Lasting Marriage
The science confirms what the Church has taught all along We live in an age of marital pessimism. Divorce has touched almost every family, and many couples walk down the aisle quietly wondering whether they’ll beat the odds. The statistics are sobering – somewhere between 30 and 50 percent of marriages in Western countries will end in divorce.…
Read MoreTime, Energy, Attention — Three Words Every Marriage Needs
I recently had a delightful and thought-provoking meeting with Fr. Patrick Toohey from the Catholic Archdiocese of Perth. During it he asked me what do I thought all relationships require? The answer? An acronym: T.E.A. which stands for: Time, Energy, and Attention — and according to Fr. Patrick, these are the three ingredients that every lasting marriage is built on. You can’t buy them, fake them, or borrow them. You can only choose…
Read MoreIs ‘Grace Alone’ Enough for Marriage?
What YOUCAT Love Forever Says About the Real Work of Marriage Recently a young man in the SmartLoving Engaged course asked for a refund. The reason? He felt the practical relationship skills were unnecessary, and that a good marriage required one thing only: to live a life in the grace of God. It’s a perspective that sounds beautiful on the surface. And he wasn’t entirely wrong – grace is foundational to…
Read MoreWhen Marriages Rise from the Dead
The power of forgiveness can bring even the most broken marriage back to life Good Friday confronts us with something as remarkable: an innocent man, nailed to a cross, gasping out words that should have been rage or despair – but weren’t. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Lk 23:34) We’ve sat with those words…
Read MoreSeven Habits of Effective Communicators
Almost everyone agrees that communication – good communication – is essential to successful relationships. But what constitutes ‘good’ communication? The answer to that all depends on our goals, which will be different for various relationships and dependent on the circumstances. If our goal is to give clear instructions to an employee, it will call for…
Read MoreOpenness to Life is for All of Us
It’s not uncommon to have couples of advanced years in the SmartLoving Engaged course. One or both may be widowed or they may have only found love and a vocation to marriage after many decades of single life. Sometimes they express confusion or frustration that their marriage preparation course includes fertility awareness education. For example, recently a widower in…
Read MorePower of Prayer
Prayer does not change God, it does not always change the situation, but it does change the heart of the person praying. Many people do not trust prayer, or doubt it’s power to have an impact. After all, we’ve all had experiences of praying earnestly for something, only to be disappointed when what we sought…
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